“And it isn't that I'm so unhappy I don't want to live anymore. That's not what it feels like. It feels more like I'm tired and bored and the party's gone on too long and I want to go home.” 

― Nick Hornby, A Long Way Down

But see, I cannot leave the party.
They are in my apartment and drinking my alcohol and it is my fault because I let them in - I cannot leave the party because this is my home. This is my bed. This is where my heart should not feel this way but I take the blame because I opened the door.

So I stay and watch and let the confetti fall all over me.
It's a wasp's nest.